Did I deserve this from you?

I ran out into traffic today. The cars raced by me as though I wasnt there. It made no sense to me because my heart was beating out of control. I know I was there.
And woke up in terror of sweat asking myself why you did it. What did I do to deserve this from you?

Confusion...
Respect.....
Subtle hints...
Misery undone...
Feeling foolish...
Never wanted to say it was wrong...
Never quite said what I wanted to say to you...
Never quite managed the words to explain to you..
Another day left unsaid...
How can you think that this is ok for you...
How can you rest your eyes and believe its true...
What on earth do you think I am feeling inside...
It hurts like hell not knowing what is going on with you...
I worry so hard that I cannot be there for you...
I know that none of this has been easy for you to do...
I called you and left a message....
Out of respect I expected you to call....
The lessons I have learned from this experience are profound...
I hurt so bad inside because of them....
Tomorrow is a new day and I will try not to remember the person I thought you were...or the person that I became so fond of ....
Today I am not ready...