Sometimes I wonder why I care so much.

Care so much about any at all. Life ebbs and flows to suit the needs of reality at that given moment. There really isn't much to manipulate although we are all guilty of trying when our hearts have sunken below comfort. Some of us learn sooner than other that manipulation is nothing more than way to achieve temporary happiness and relief.

Again I wonder why I care so much.

Do I really need anything more than what I have right now in front of me? A job, a home to reside in, food to feed my kids, a car to drive and the other necessities.
What about companionship? I have a desire to have someone close to me that fulfills all my partnership needs. Other times I want my space and to be casual. I yearn for disconnection from feelings, the feelings that bog me down inside. To be relieved of the fear I feel when I lose someone that is important to me and my life. Maybe realize some day that my life will be ok even after a loss.

Again I wonder why I care so much.

I have spent a lot of time pinpointing where all this comes from, and yet intellectually it all makes sense because I know I am a smart person. But emotionally I cannot seem to find the disconnect switch. I have been graced with emotion and rationality. The key is balance. Teach me balance.

Again I wonder why I care so much.